Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

If bands were dates.

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

From Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content: If bands were dates.

  • Isis would be that girl who was amazing in bed until she started insisting on listening to nothing but Tool while you banged
  • Explosions in the Sky would be that girl who’s great in bed, sure, but it’s EXACTLY THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER FOREVER
  • Future of the Left would just donkeypunch you and then post video of it on the internet
  • Sepultura would be a guy who completely ignores all erogenous zones other than the vag because they “get in the way”
  • Coheed & Cambria would be a guy who you initially wanna fuck but he keeps you up all night talking about HIS FEELINGS instead …

Update: And more.

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Rock Widow.

Saturday, September 22nd, 2001

In light of recent attempts of mine to pick up, it’s probably good to remind myself of why screwing musicians sucks. This article was written a few years ago and is a little bit dated - I’m not sure if Michael Gudinski has any actual influence in The Biz these days - so if anyone has any ideas to update it I’m not too proud to steal them.

Dedicated to the forgotten buttress of the rock industry, the non-musician wife or girlfriend.

(more…)

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