4 thoughts on “Ten thousand statistically grammar-average band names.

  1. The problem here (well, the obvious problem, at least) is the inclusion of one-word names, which is going to leave a lot of false-positives unless you screen them out. I’ve not only heard of one of the early ones – Loudspeaker – I’ve seen them, supporting Seven-Year Bitch in New Orleans about thirteen years ago.

    And let’s say nothing about the inclusion of Discharge and Hole, OK?

  2. Pulp, Prince, Rancid, Slayer, Underworld, Avalanches, Tricky, Faithless, Rush, Furniture, King, Cake, Bush, Seal, Morphine, Proclaimers, Gene, Stranglers, Saints, Ministry, Chrome, Jam, Oasis . . . why yes, I did read through them all, actually. Why do you ask?

    Still, there are one or two worthwhile ideas in there. Name your extreme metal band after the international villains du jour – Banking. Or, if you’re less cosmopolitan, Republicans. Axolotl Carcass has a certain ring to it, as does Carrot Slays Republican (a bit absurdist that one, I think. Probably fans of Deerhoof). Personally I’d probably go with Patty Stench, the Northern Flashers (nice image), or (my personal favourite) Ouch.

  3. I remember this as a Jello Biafra routine when he did a Melbourne show in 1995, 1996 or so. He was really impressed with Australian ’80s indie rock band names, particularly the Black Eye crowd. Lubricated Goat. Purple Vulture Shit.

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