Never Mind Lash, Here’s This Is Serious Mum (Evelyn, Fri 21 Sep 2001)

2nd TISM show at the Evil Lyn – next verse, same as the first. (Apparently.)

A loose roomful of people paid six bucks to see TISM tonight (Friday 22nd Sept.), except for the quarter of the audience who were immediate family members. Personally, I’m left thinking “But now I’ve paid twenty fucking dollars to see what will probably be an identical show???” Well, I’m clearly a …

…fcukwit.

Not that it wasn’t a good show. It was a very good show. That could have a lot to do with the “more pre-recorded material than I-want-Milli-Vanilli” factor (yes, I’m being a fucking pedant) but it still shat all over most of the so called “rock” bands who actually do play their instruments but do so with so little interest that they may as well be fully pre-recorded. TISM have a new song called “Honk if you love Fred Durst”. I wonder if this is a coincidence.

Paul, Miranda and I stuck our faces to the glass door of the Evil Lyn like windowlickers to see TISM doing their soundcheck, naked. They look exactly like the people who take your Fortnightly Arts Grant Application at Centrelink. I expected “Testing … one, two” to be replaced with “Is anyone just handing their form in?”

Costumes – pretty plain, lotsa black. I don’t know if this is all we get or if the good stuff is being saved for the expensive shows. Note though that wearing black is clearly an excellent option for everyone since this group of slightly tubby middle aged public servants were transformed into frankly unnerving nutbars. (I was going to say “dangerous”, but let’s face it, the bar on this description has been lifted somewhat.)

It would of course be really weird if forty year old men didn’t have families, but seeing the guitarist making goo goo eyes at the four year old girl in the front row with her hands over her ears weirded me out more than usual. “Look honey, your daddy’s on stage!” That would explain the lack of nudity – damn.

I got a chest full of Humphrey during one of the audience forays, my housemate got a couple of the T-balls batted into the crowd, a couple of brothers-in-law got up to dance, RHB did a particularly fine rant about the resurgence of TISM.

Those of you screaming “But what about the MUSIC???” can get stuffed. I always find TISM albums to be growers. I know I’ll like them, but only after I’ve had a chance to listen casually (ie at work, or under “non-review” conditions). I liked the second song they played, I don’t remember the title. I was disappointed they didn’t play “Got a Root Out of It” (although this is probably a good thing as I have no sense of humour and would probably have burst into tears). They did play the compulsory radio hits (“Defecate on My Face”, “Saturday Night Palsy”, as well as some minor JJJ hits from a few years ago) to the usual audience fawning. For fuck’s sake, they do have OTHER songs.

Apparently the Thursday show for next week has sold out. I will be at the Friday show. I will be:

* pissed as a fart
* looking to pick up
* expecting to see some dick

So look out for me, cause I’m a real prize pickup. (I have often wondered how come Lilydale, or at least Warburton, has never featured in a TISM song – the closest we ever got was Ringwood. “Goth girls want your mascara” – weird, I’ve never really made a goths/Ringwood association.)