Nick Cave’s ridiculously over-the-top rejected script for Gladiator 2, for your reading pleasure.

Russell Crowe wanted a followup to Gladiator. So, of course, he called Nick Cave. ‘Cos that’s obviously the first thing you do.

So, he goes down to purgatory and is sent down by the gods, who are dying in heaven because there’s this one god, there’s this Christ character, down on Earth who is gaining popularity and so the many gods are dying so they send Gladiator back to kill Christ and his followers.

It was a stone cold masterpiece. I enjoyed writing it very much because I knew on every level that it was never going to get made. Let’s call it a popcorn dropper.

And, guess what? Here’s (purportedly) a copy. (And a spare.) (Hat-tip to Graham Freeman.)

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