David Gerard

If I did not like big butts, could I lie?

26 February, 20127 May, 2017 R'n'B 0

The twentieth anniversary of the release of “Baby Got Back” was February 5th. To commemorate this occasion, we present a logical puzzle. “You are

Music industry whining has a long and venerable history.

25 February, 20127 May, 2017 Film, Industry 0

Today’s is from the advent of the evil talkie in the cinemas. The obvious solution is to ban soundtracks on moving images. Playing YouTube

Don’t make me wait.

24 February, 20127 May, 2017 R'n'B 0

Remember Street Sounds? Brilliant R’n’B compilations, unavailable on the face of the Earth for the past thirty years? Here you go. The label is

Keeping up with the kids.

19 February, 20127 May, 2017 Indie 0

Now listening to The Quietus Radio. Like the magazine, it’s actually decent and worth your time. God help me if I start following popular

Hell’s basement.

12 February, 201226 August, 2016 Pop 0

Chalga is possibly the worst pop genre ever, and that’s a subject I have considerable expertise in. Bulgaria could take over the world. “What’s

Get lost. Don’t lie.

11 February, 201226 August, 2016 Post-Punk 0

Plans are afoot for Rowland S. Howard to get his own disreputable dark alleyway. Well, it worked before! (Is RSH Lane actually dark?)

Only a NAZI would set A=440Hz.

28 January, 20127 May, 2017 Musician 0

If you don’t tune to A=432Hz, you are defying the natural order of the universe, and JUST LOVE HITLER.

Just three more!

13 January, 20127 May, 2017 Musician 0

“There are dozens of “art guitars” with multiple necks that can never be played. It’s just about the look for some of these creations.

How to fire a band member.

7 December, 201110 May, 2017 Musician 0

Bluegrass firing squad, and other termination procedures. Leaving them at the truckstop is only the third option on the list. “It is true, however,

What on earth is up with rocknerd.org?

2 December, 201110 May, 2017 Rocknerd 3

There is, er, something there. It appears to have a new story or two mixed in with old ones from 2006, all dated September

Napster off, MAFIAAfire on, computers continue to subsume all comers.

2 December, 201110 May, 2017 mp3, Your rights 0

The network died years ago, but Napster’s vegetative corpse was finally taken off life support Wednesday. They can’t even make money from the name

Now this is just silly.

21 November, 20116 May, 2017 Esoterica 1

Feel like brushing up on your Beatles, but don’t have all day to listen to all 226 recorded tracks? Ramjac has helpfully put together

And then there were three.

11 November, 201120 October, 2016 Industry 0

Goooooood-byeeeeeee. Universal gets EMI’s recordings, Sony gets its publishing. Three dinosaurs left. “More such earth-shaking unions of doomed giants seem inevitable.”

Remember when records had covers?

11 November, 201110 May, 2017 Record 0

For your delectation: The Kitten Covers.

The world’s ugliest 88 notes.

9 November, 201110 May, 2017 Esoterica 0

An earnest attempt to construct the world’s mathematically ugliest music. (Several minutes intro, then the tune.) Personally I think this fails to correctly ascertain

And good riddance.

2 November, 201110 May, 2017 Audio 0

Looks like no more major CDs by the end of 2012 — they’ll become boutique items for fans, like vinyl. About time too.

Play trumpet so awesomely that your brain explodes! Literally.

5 September, 201110 May, 2017 Classical, Musician 0

You thought trying to make a living as a rock musician sucked? You should be giving prayers of thanks that you’re not a classical

Peter Hook interviews John Cooper Clarke.

14 August, 201120 May, 2017 Post-Punk, Radio 0

FUC51 no doubt shat, but crusty old post-punks like me will delight at Peter Hook interviewing John Cooper Clarke on BBC Radio 4 Chain

Pump up the zining. Old-skool.

9 August, 201110 May, 2017 Writing 3

As I have detailed in the past, I want a paper fanzine again, filled from cover to shining cover with good writing about music

Digitising and scanning, preserving culture.

4 August, 201110 May, 2017 Audio 0

The Save Australian Music project continues apace, though not a very fast pace. I have discovered (as I had presumed) that my old indie

And the pay is terrible.

29 July, 201110 May, 2017 Writing 0

What It’s Like To Interview A Celebrity, from Lovelyish.

Rock critic survives to 92.

6 July, 201110 May, 2017 Writing 0

Cleveland rock critic Jane Young died on Monday after 38 years at the job, from 1964 until 2002. Yeah, guess I have to keep

FUC51.

6 July, 201110 May, 2017 Post-Punk 0

Aggressive ahistoricality is a problem, but so too is the dead hand of nostalgia, follow the subjects of the nostalgia back when it wasn’t

Fighting aggressive ahistoricality.

5 July, 201110 May, 2017 Writing 0

It’s always heartwarming when someone gets really pissed off and channels it into documenting something that sorely needs it. Kirrily Robert is about to

The past: delete, not notable.

15 June, 201110 May, 2017 Writing 5

Last week I took The Wolfgang Press in Wikipedia from two paragraphs to a proper article. Yesterday it was on the front page Did

Pink Floyd sell actual bottom of barrel with scrapings.

14 May, 201110 May, 2017 Record, Writing 0

TIME, Dark side of the moan, Wednesday (N! News) — Both remaining members of Pink Floyd have announced the launch of the “Why Pink

UbuWeb is your finest cultural value.

24 April, 201110 May, 2017 Esoterica 1

UbuWeb is an archive of avant-garde text, music and film operating on the basis of putting up unavailable stuff and taking it down as

Make my day.

30 March, 201110 May, 2017 mp3 0

Music services that aren’t iTunes need to be better to compete. Google is politely negotiating streaming. Amazon, on the other hand, has decided to

One soul less on your fiery list.

11 March, 201110 May, 2017 Record 0

Paul Harding emails to tell of his blog Perthmusic (and earlier version), a pile of unavailable CDs, records and tapes from no-longer-gigging bands of

Quite possibly the most horrible record of 2011.

8 March, 20119 January, 2017 Pop 0

George Michael doing a laid back MOR version of “True Faith” by New Order. Through a vocoder. While wrapped around a lamp post.