David Gerard

Even in the futurepop, nothing works.

20 February, 20113 May, 2017 Industrial, Opinion, Record, Writing 0

In the early 1990s, I tried very hard to become a serious Anthony Burgess fan. A Clockwork Orange is absolutely first-class and probably my favourite novel of all time.

However, all his other novels suck. All of them.

You can’t handle the truth.

19 February, 201119 September, 2016 Musician 3

For my birthday, my darling girlfriend just gave me some shitty, shitty eight quid laptop speakers from Curry’s, to serve as cruel and vicious

Sign up or go underground in the summer of ’81.

18 February, 201110 May, 2017 Record, Television 0

You’re young? Never got into the Australian mainstream in the ’80s when it was happening? Annoyed that most of Mushroom’s output is not available

The Campaign for Real Rock versus plastic instruments.

10 February, 20114 September, 2016 Games 0

Cry moar, n00b. Activision has cancelled the whole Guitar Hero franchise. Harmonix, creator of its main competitor Rock Band, was sold off, and MTV

If we bolt the barn door well enough, a horse is bound to show up.

2 February, 2011 mp3 0

Android phones are hugely popular, and now the most popular smartphone in the world. Google would love a music store for Android to compete

The source of the disease.

30 January, 201130 January, 2011 mp3 5

Here we see punk rocker John Robb declare it necessary to reshape the Internet to save the music industry as it was in the

How to lose four hundred kilograms.

29 January, 201129 January, 2011 Record 2

It’s been a wonderful month of house-culling. We’ve thrown out a veritable mountain of shite and regularly overfill our bins with just culls of

Headcleaner.

8 January, 201115 September, 2016 Industrial 2

This is the complete 103MB pile of stuff the industrial hideous noise band Whitehouse (founded in 1980 and, amazingly, still extant) put up on

Laura MacFarlane, Hong Kong In The Sixties, Hissing At Swans – Betsey Trotswood, Tue 7 Dec 2010

9 December, 201011 October, 2016 Indie, Live 1

The Betsey Trotswood is a tiny little pub in Farringdon that sells actual beer instead of the fizzy piss found most places basement indie

One down, three to go.

8 December, 201015 November, 2016 Industry 0

Surprised I didn’t notice this earlier. It’s not looking good for EMI. Terra Firma has discovered they paid way too much for the hulk

* Delete, non-notable terrorist. May recreate if terrorism successful.

28 November, 201015 November, 2016 Writing 0

You know how no-one you know cares about your shitty band? No-one on Wikipedia cares either.

John Peel’s Festive Sixty-Four.

24 November, 201015 November, 2016 Indie, mp3 0

Now here’s a remarkable work of cultural preservation: 64 gigabytes of Peel Sessions and shows as BitTorrent. That’s about twenty days’ music solid. You

Pop psychology.

9 October, 2010 Writing 0

May I commend to you this fine blog, by London media casualty Jamie Willcocks. The four-word single reviews are particularly brilliant.

Andrew Crossley is a reprehensible individual.

25 September, 201015 November, 2016 mp3 7

The evidence for that statement is not merely his legal extortion scam as ACS:Law, where he sends spurious legal threats just large enough to

Telegrams from the record library.

11 September, 201015 November, 2016 Writing 0

The Fall: 1-3 foundation; 4-7 elevation; 8-12 Brix-ification; 13-16 rhythmnation; 17-21,24-26,28 recapitulation; 22-23,27 late revelations.

The Campaign for Real Rock.

1 August, 2010 Theatre 0

Computers make amazingly good and cheap synthesizers these days. After much faff, I got Rosegarden working on my netbook. The test files play Bach

Rock video.

10 July, 201021 May, 2017 Games 0

From Cracked: The 5 Most Absurd Video Games Starring Rock Stars. It starts with the Frankie Goes To Hollywood game and actually gets worse.

It don’t mean a thing.

27 May, 201019 March, 2021 Jazz 0

Tristan Jehan is obviously a stylish gentleman with a grasp of what makes culture. He wrote something to work out the beat of a

“Who Killed Bambi?” original screenplay.

27 April, 2010 Film 0

Roger Ebert is a renowned film critic and an excellent and amusing writer. He also wrote a couple of screenplays with Russ Meyer: Beyond

PF#19: Mardi Picasso, 1994.

27 March, 2010 Indie 6

And this one’s with Martin Gambie when he was doing Mardi Picasso. So whatever happened to Martin?

Music critic oppressed by The Man.

27 March, 201027 March, 2010 Pop 0

Bulgarian Alexander Alexandrov has been most unfairly sentenced to 16 years’ prison merely for killing his neighbour, who played “Angels” by Robbie Williams two

PF#19: Dave Graney, 1992.

25 March, 201021 September, 2016 Rock 0

I’ve been digging up the lost unpublished fragments of Party Fears. Here’s an interview with Dave Graney in late 1992, when nobody cared and

My heart bleeds. You can hear it, it’s that guffawing noise.

12 March, 201015 November, 2016 Industry 0

Will the six five four majors shrink to five four three? “Oh dear what a pity never mind,” as Windsor Davies lamented.

Cover versions.

29 January, 2010 Record 0

“Today is not much skilled craftsmen capable of creating a truly awful cover for a vinyl disc. This art, alas, almost lost. When we

Last song at the Tote.

20 January, 2010 Live 1

The last song of the last night, “My Pal” by the Drones with Joel Silbersher, on video. And, of course, the 7:30 Report. Now,

If bands were dates.

10 January, 201013 July, 2017 Sex 1

From Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content: If bands were dates. Isis would be that girl who was amazing in bed until she started insisting

James Blunt tops decade charts, pop declared dead.

3 January, 2010 Pop 0

PUBLIC ENEMA, The Hit Parade, Thursday (N! News) — James Blunt’s Back To Bedlam was the UK’s biggest-selling album of the 2000s, objectively establishing

The occult symbolism of the Video Music Awards.

27 December, 200927 December, 2009 Pop 0

From unexpected drama to shocking performances, MTV’s 2009 Video Music Awards managed once again to raise eyebrows and get people talking. What most people